>tfw yoshi will never penetrate you

Well I'm a fucking disabled human being with bad genetics so of course I can't be a normal well adjusted confetti person. I can't sit at a desk and work an office job. So I have to wait for some sort of fucking seed of salvation but since it's never going to come I'm just going to have to wait to die forever like I said.

>tfw will never be penetrated by yoshi
>tfw spend my whole life speaking/writing phoenician euphemistic hieroglyphics
>one day decide to go for a walk in the city to relax
>fucking lingam monuments everywhere
>go into nature instead
>the trees and the grass are fucking GREEN
PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME YOSHI GET ME OUT OF THIS PRISON

Shit man, I deadass feel you dawg but in a different way, sort of an anti-thot kind of way. Look on the flip side, if you never fuck for at least 30 years or something, you can get them virgin wizard powers. Assuming it works that way in your universe.

Maybe you can get your revenge on by blowin up some buildings or doing shit with whatever power you get at that point. Have a nice day, 🅱️.

Ok, here's the plan. Fuck yoshi and confetti golems. I'm going to be a superpotato with lasers in my eyes, burning everything I see. I'll hyperevolve or whatever like I hear the gegs are doing. I'll implant superpotatoism into my DNA. Then I will take LSD so I can upgrade to ultrapotato. I'll sell my seed to thots so that they can have babies and I'll have a superpotato army. Then we will start a massive planned attack against the non-potatoes of this world and at the end of it all I will go full kamikaze and kill myself.

Aight, here's a text wall for you.

So, there are two kinds of processes. Low-order processes and high-order processes. Low-order processes is basically like sexual desire, hunger, instincts, emotions, feelings, automatic responses, shit like that. High-order processes are basically shit like thinking, logic, imagination, sapience, and etc.

You may not realize it, but you are part of the universe and specifically the parts of the universe that deadass have the cognition to think about itself. In a way, WE are the universe's brains and WE have a natural connection to it. In order to become closer and one with the universe all ni🅱️🅱️as must balance and have utter control over both of their processes.

Your low-order processes are like your energy, will, motivation, and center for value judgement. Without it, you would be a nonmovin zombie with no will to live. On the other hand, your high-order processes is basically your means of connecting and understanding reality and the supernatural. Most ni🅱️🅱️as are not woke to this and thus they casually thrash they fucking feelings and shit around wasting all of that energy leading to further destruction and slowly leaving the path of enlightenment.

Instead, one must control their low-order processes and convert the impetus of your will into the high-order process. This will basically boost your IQ and mental capacity to an ascended level and allow you to more closely interact and experience the supernatural. Unfortunately, it takes a deadass lot of refinement, about 30 years, and mental training in order to reach the level necessary to get virgin wizard powers.

But there is but one more caveat, and that is that you must never ever let your holy white soul splooge exit your dick. This is because once you do that, you will exit the highest and most pure energy state, which is a perfectly undiminished resource of your low-order process's physical manifestation. You know that feeling you get after you nut? Yeah, that's you exiting that higher energy state and never coming back. And notice how you'll always remember the first time, that's because that was the best one and every nut after that will just diminish very slowly. At that point, any better one's is just your brain fooling you otherwise.

The longer you train yourself (in other words, refrain from ever nutting) the more powerful your will will get. Even your body will began to change too and get stronger and more muscular. Your cells will slowly mess up or accidentally mutate less often and telomeres will take longer to get shorter. Then they'll stop getting shorter all together thus getting you deadass fucking immortality. Ever wonder why the Japanese people live for so long? People say they are so healthy because of their diet, and while that is an actual contributor... it's because now 50% percent of Japanese adults have stopped having sex to the point that their population is deadass fucking declining.

Nature has a built in a balancing system. Lots of sex = shorter life, Little sex = longer life, No sex = infinite life. It's pretty logical because if you have sex, that means you'll eventually continue life and make people to replace yourself. But if you never have sex, then there's no way to replace yourself. Then nature just waits until you do it. It's simple and logical and this pattern can be seen throughout the history of the entire deadass world. Developing and impoverished nations have way more sex and more deaths. Developed nations have less sex and less deaths. Gee, what a weird coincidence...

So now, you finally fucking see, why being a virgin is fucking great. You'll basically outlive everyone and eventually have cool powers once you have trained enough and resisted all temptation. So what powers you can get? Eh, I'll be honest, there aint much written and studied on some aspects but the general trend is, the longer you wait before you choose yo powers, the better and stronger power you can choose. So typically age 30 powers are pretty meh. Maybe you can get some shit bending shit from Avatar (no not the movie, the animated series. We don't talk about the shitty shyamalan version.) where you can manipulate specific kinds of matter or float or some shit. Pretty great as party tricks I guess.

But nah man, if you wait longer you could probably get some super amazing shit going on and easily become a god if you wait thousands of years. No one really knows because all the ni🅱️🅱️as I know waste it on dumb shit. If I ever got some powers like that, I might just easily make the world a better place and Thanos snap all the thots. But unfortunately I can't. Basically I had sex with Fabio and thought Fabio would live to do the job for me. But no man, naziboy and Alex had to FUCKING MURDER FABIO. They basically doomed the entirety of humanity. It's my fault for not controlling myself and so I deserve only failure.

So yeah, a bit long, but uh, you asked for it dude. That is how virgin wizardry works. Straight facts.