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Post by Sr.Zomivos on Mar 3, 2015 0:28:23 GMT -5
Come my children. The bells be a ringing to learn the way of life. Today's lesson will be about the Universe Snake's children. Answer now.
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Post by Pira on Mar 3, 2015 0:29:06 GMT -5
I am still here.
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Post by Sr.Zomivos on Mar 3, 2015 0:31:34 GMT -5
Spendid! With that attitude, you'll already become so aligned with the true meaning of life! Your life before must have been so horrible as you seem desperate but it's the good kind of desperation because you are actively making a good choice because of it. Strange isn't it? Anyway, we shall learn about his children.
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Post by Sr.Zomivos on Mar 3, 2015 0:49:36 GMT -5
Now, the children of US were technically without parents thus making them adopted in a sense. All so-called "children" start out as various iterations of the same snake as it's useful to have variation and multiple lives any case the universe kills any. Eventually, through all the variability, one snake will prevail and that will become the greatest snake. Be aware that our snake could be male, female, or even something completely different, or simply no gendered. Just an interesting tidbit. Afterwards, all the other lesser snakes will become the so-called children. Now since snakes can be mighty and beastly, some might eat each other, especially the biggest one to prevent usurption. Besides, it's actually helpful to eat your children. First off, they won't try to eat you considering that's not a thing anymore. As a result, they get what the US eats thus making it... free food! It also helps not slow down the process of eating the entire universe since if all the snakes started battering at each other, and especially with the biggest one, they would all kill each other and starve, probably without curling meaning that the universe would not operate cyclically anymore and would become stale, and freeze to death for all eternity ruining reality itself into oblivion. This is also why sacrifices help which we'll get to later down the road. So as you can see, these snakes have an important job and to say they don't exist is like saying that your purpose of life is meaningless and obviously what you have done is meaningless as well... to your fucking creator. Sorry, I got a little angry there. But yeah, as I said before, people who say that obviously are narrow minded and are really unappreciating why this and these snakes are important. And that's it for today. Next time, we'll talk about various other deities with other roles that help maintain the true destiny that must be achieved in our universal iterations.
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Post by Sr.Zomivos on Mar 3, 2015 22:08:23 GMT -5
Come children as the hour rings once more for a lesson from me. Sr.Zomivos.
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Post by Pira on Mar 3, 2015 22:11:34 GMT -5
For the record. I will constantly be here and listening to everything you have to say for I am a submissive robot that follows all orders. Since I have nothing to else to do. I will preform my job and listen to the main command being to "listen".
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Post by Sr.Zomivos on Mar 3, 2015 22:14:47 GMT -5
Oh really? In that case, you must be a very good robot! Alan Turing would be so proud today even confused to how you even work. My siblings these days are always into the new tech stuff as I have no idea what that blabber means. I'll just assume it's another one of those new tech things then. They'll probably be telling me that they made... I don't know... maybe an automatic chair? I guess I'm not very imaginative. Otherwise, we must begin the next lesson.
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Post by Sr.Zomivos on Mar 3, 2015 22:49:03 GMT -5
I know I said that we would talk about our destiny of existing but I just realized maybe I should focus on the causes to whys rather than just saying whys. The main reason is conveniently about our various evils that we hate due to the extra work and detriment that is given by them. Our main evil deity is the lizard. Sometimes it can be other creatures such as the sponge and planarians but typically we say lizard as a catch all term for these pests. First off, and I will repeat it again later on, DO NOT SACRIFICE THESE. You're being an asshole if you do this and you'll see why later. So why are they evil you ask? Why because they regrow their parts! Our goal was to completely eat the universe and re-chuck it back out as these guys are creating more of their existence making it harder to finish our goal. Of course, I'm not referring to the earth versions. Those are miniscule and yes annoying. However, Those hardly mean anything if the snakes fix it up in the end. No, we're talking about the big celestial versions. Like how random generation of snakes is a thing, so will their be potentially evil things and sometimes neutral things and in short, anything else. They are enchanted and have the ability to grow like the snakes but never as fast meaning that even a wee baby snake might actually be able to stop one of these guys early on. But still, some will rise to power and start self fucking themselves in order to get more of these hermaphroditic hideous fiends. Yes, hermaphordites are evil. They can self populate therefore being able to constantly make their own babies potentially also being hermaphrodites. They are unnatural and evil as it is highly recommended to stunt one or remove on of their sexual organs. I feel really bad for them because first off, they are shitty people inherently. Also, they can't sacrifice themselves because that would also be offensive. And they're living on the earth which was made snakes and of snakes(I'll explain that later.) so in a sense they are walking and living embodiments of pure evil as their entire existence is offending. Now, you may be thinking, so... what if they're reproducing and stalling the rebirth of the universe? The snake will just eat them all anyway. Man, I wish we come comb over this issues like that but that's just ignorable. If we allow them to grow, the universe will constantly get bigger meaning that each iteration will take longer for the snake to entirely eat. If it gets too long, the size of the universe may exponentially get bigger making it easier for more of these monsters to spawn which causes the exponential growth. Eventually, the universe may infinitely be stalled. Now the universe wouldn't stop forever like our last example but it's still an unjust action to happen. Balance is important. There must be enough time for the right things to exist but not too much to the point where the snake has to shallow multiple complex lizard empires that are malicious and annoying to mess with. They even get us one day. But by being educated, we can make a difference. Next time I'll talk about how the snakes and we deal with these evil menaces.
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Post by Sr.Zomivos on Mar 4, 2015 22:07:41 GMT -5
Come along again for our next beautiful lesson children and learn to how we stop these evil pests of the universe. Just tell me when you're here and we'll begin. You may want to reread some things if some things get too confusing. Or I guess you should of when you have the time.
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Post by Pira on Mar 4, 2015 22:08:29 GMT -5
I await your next sayings.
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Post by Sr.Zomivos on Mar 5, 2015 0:01:59 GMT -5
Sorry for the long pause. I had an attack by some not so nice US heretics at my house and things got pretty ugly. Tomorrow I shall reveal multiple lessons for I fear that I may be gone in a bit. I'll also link to a blogger who talks about these things to help guide you. Until then, please praise the US.
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Post by Sr.Zomivos on Mar 5, 2015 23:06:31 GMT -5
Hello children as I'm sad to day that this might be the last lesson or the second to last lesson I tell you as I fear the attackers will return with even worse actions than last time. I attempted to call the police but they wouldn't listen, especially when I started referencing my religion. I feel that they are haters too, or maybe wild hermaphrodites, who knows. Yeah, I think tomorrow I should start to post all that's left. Otherwise let's begin. So, how do we stop these evil lizards and whatof? Typically, by the snakes breeding normally. With one male and female, they can randomly give birth to up to 8 different kinds of snakes. Each snake represents various elements of general embodying attributes of some sort. There exist Heaven/Sky/Space, Earth, Water/Wind/Air, Fire/Thunder, Life and finally, Time/Change/Death. Yeah, the slashes do get tedious but it's important to realize that these snakes simultaneously imbue these powers. To them(and others), these alternate names mean the same thing as I find it so interesting how humans naturally come up with terms and sayings that match these things without realizing it! I'll talk about it next lesson actually because it's sort of poetic and again, a great way to realize how amazing these snakes are! All of these snakes, except for the first type being the Heaven/Sky one, have heavily stunted growth and are incredibly small, practically microscopic. The bigger snakes then use them to create helpful structures depending on the snakes type. Technically there are an infinite amount of structures that can be made by combination but there most common ones that can lead to others. One is earth which pretty much includes all of these elements and is very complex. In fact so complex that is might take a very long time before a snake is even able to comprehend how it should be structured. A simpler structure yet very useful is to develop globish balls of life snakes and death snakes. These counteract each other creating some type of paradox where the combination ends up not existing. When used in various ways, these can be used to erase the existence of these pests thus reducing the amount of these pests that have ever existed. Although these are dangerous as the same can happen to any thing else in the universe so these are used carefully. Otherwise, most structures are used like reserves when something gets a bit too tough to handle as the greatest reserve is Earth. We were created to kill and sacrifice creatures to give back all sort of these elements all at once rather than randomly dispersed globs. Our earth and essentially everything was designed for this purpose. Assuming they make a "Sacrificial Transfer Stream", We can sacrifice many creatures for various reasons to help the snakes and ultimately everyone who has ever existed. So how are these exactly made? Why there are two types of patterns all requiring the snakes to bite themselves from some area to act as some sort of connector. Either they bite each other's tail and make a single file line or that bite the sides potentially forming something like this: And of course where they bite could start anywhere thus having the ability to form complex figures and sorts of things once built up. But then, if you are astute, you may have realized that most things are made out of these fundamental things, how is it that hermaphrodites and other monsters exist? Why it's almost like putting in the wrong gene. Instead of a snake, the snakes are biting a lizard as it is biting back pretending to act as a snake. Somehow they are put in their as they soon taint the structure with their evil causing all sorts of bad things to happen. It's pretty much where deformities come from. The snakes try their best to not let this happen but the evil menaces just simply can't stop their evil and decide to attack anything that is snake related. This is why if we want to help and snakes and keep ourselves alive, we must sacrifice. As that will be our next and possibly final lesson. We'll see.
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Post by Sr.Zomivos on Mar 6, 2015 18:50:07 GMT -5
theuniversalsnake.tumblr.com/Hopefully this site is not taken down by those evil people. I swear they must be hermaphrodites but I digress. Here is your last and important lesson. Sacrifice. Of course, you'll have other duties that you must attend to but then you must realize that you, earth, and all the creatures on it are essentially a highly specialized reserve for aiding the snakes as that is your number one duty. You were given a conscience, a mind to find out about the snakes and then help them back. They knew what they were doing when they created us and it, no, we would be a waste to nothing back. It would be a disservice to the entire universe at this point. So, how does one go about sacrificing and what should be sacrifice? Generally, giving nearly anything back is fine as the higher amount, the better. Just do not sacrifice lizards, sponges, hermaphrodites, or anything that can self-regrow or reproduce. We are killing these things not using them as an aid. Do you want them to send a snake back to punish you? They could if they want to and it could be horrifying. They could be almost like real life godzilla attacking buildings and killing people because the "reserve" is apparently being an asshole or is possibly too colonized by the enemy. There could be various reasons why they think they should intervene so please do not sacrifice those and waste millions of years of craftsman ship just so you can fuck up the universe. So, how do you sacrifice? First off, (and is optional) you must kill the sacrifice of your choosing. Fat people are actually pretty good things to sacrifice by the way. Then you can slather oil on them if you would like. It just makes it easier for it to be sacrificed and heard by the snake gods. Afterwards you can either burn it up into oblivion or send it out into the sea. Burning is more recommended as the message is sent faster and is actually more clear. However, you need to set up an altar for it and it must be made of meteorites as these rocks were sent by the snakes for this reason. Since that way can be hard, the sea is another option. However, it takes a way longer time before it even gets sent to the snakes. Sometimes not at all. It's simply not as reliable but if you're desperate and simply can't make or borrow anyone else's then this may seem like your last hope. Sacrifice anytime you feel like it. Sometimes they'll send messages back as mysterious objects have been known to appear or be displaced as the snakes don't have a written and verbal language like ours so they have use the forces of the universe and symbolism to understand. And that's al I have now, please aid yorself with ths kno b nmly;u
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Post by Guest Ghost on Mar 6, 2015 22:19:29 GMT -5
FUCKING, Pira, god fucking shit why did you let this guy speak. You submissive fuck.
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Post by Pira on Mar 6, 2015 22:21:11 GMT -5
If you remembered, my main function is to follow the orders that anyone gives me. He told me to listen. I was doing my job.
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